Clubby

I like sharing biographical information about myself with people I don't know. I make and review beer.

If it Kwaks like a duck...is it a Belgian?

Belgian Strong Pale Ale, Brouwerij Bosteels, Reviews No Responses »
Jan 202010

Hello to all my friends. This is Clubby with a review of a brew!

I was going to start off by talking about the Mets being snubbed by an old and fat catcher…Let’s call him Mengie Bolina to prevent outrage by the masses. But, I won’t bore everyone, or one with Mets news because no one seems to care about the Mets. You lucked out Mr. Bolina.

Tonight, I planned on writing a nice review about a nice Belgian Strong Ale. All day long I watched my calories and worked out to prepare for this beer review where, in a perfect world, I would drink the entire 1Pt 9.4 Oz. However, this world is far from perfect… (Insert dramatic gopher music here)

I poured the Pauwel Kwak, by Brouwerij Bosteels into some wine glass because my normal drinkin’ glass went a missin’….Was this an omen?! So, as you see, it had a beautifully huge head and was golden like the wonderfully tasteful jewelry of Mr. T. So far so good. But, as I went in for the first sip it filled my nose with an overly sweet, fruity-alcohol air. It was far from a turn off. However, I was expecting something totally different. The taste was extremely malty, fruity and with some alcohol burn. Not reminiscent of any Belgians I have had. Nice carbonation and tasty but, I was really in the mood for something else. Drinkable, yet I didn’t want to drink it. For now, I think still stick to getting my Belgians out of a great brewery in New York.

Screw you Mengie Bolina! We have better beers than California…Actually, I really like Green Flash….But, you’re still old and fat.

Posted by Clubby at 4:55 pm

Howling, for what?!

Magic Hat Brewing Company, Reviews, Schwarzbier No Responses »
Dec 182009

Hello,

I just drank a beer and I had to tell you people all about it. It was Howl from the Winter ’09 Feast Of Fools Variety pack from Magic Hat. The pack included #9, the Winter’09 Odd Notion, Lucky Kat, and Howl…

Well, first off, the entertaining case stated it included a “hoppy fireside IPA” . I thought, ‘fantastic, something new and possibly delicious’. I was only half correct. It was the same old Lucky Kat I have had many times before. While, this is a wonderful IPA, it is hardly new or anything different. At least to people who have purchased these variety packs before. As for advertising it as a “hoppy fireside IPA”, there is nothing that would make me drink this by a fire, I would enjoy it just as much during a spring or summertime BBQ. Now, as for the wonderfully decorated case, why wouldn’t it just say that it included “Lucky Kat”? It only stated libelous claims of including a “hoppy fireside IPA”.

As for reviewing this “Howl” beer. It had a one finger head that went away quickly. Smelled like almost nothing, and tasted the same. Almost like brown water that you would expect to taste like poop. Without the taste of actual poop. It left a slight lagerish film on the tongue that Greg would most likely describe,  “tastes like peanut butter”. But, I haven’t a clue what Greg is talking about because I taste burnt water and feel on my tongue what I think is phlegm.

I know this is a lager and should be light and refreshing. But, come on, advertising it as a “winter seasonal”? Why the hell would I like to drink this during the winter?? When I think of winter beer, I think of sweet, spicy, full, and warming. This was absolutely none of those.

Now, I love Magic Hat “elixers”. Roxy Rolles is one of my favorite beers. It just seems to me that Magic Hat is more concerned with making interesting labels, and cute sayings on bottle caps, than making good beer, for those who like actual beer, or labeling them seasonally, correctly, or at all on their variety pack.

Bring this crap back during the spring or summer and call it something else. Maybe I’ll have something different to say. Disappointing “winter” beer to say the least.

Posted by Clubby at 3:54 am

Damned to be consumed by me!

Belgian Strong Dark Ale, Reviews, Unibroue No Responses »
Dec 132009

Muahaha. Evil at it’s best. This review is dedicated to my evil skull tattoo.

Maudite is a Belgian dark strong ale. In English, La Maudite means “the damned”. Its name refers to the story “Chasse-Galerie”, in which, eight woodsmen pledged their souls to the devil to be given the ability to go home for the winter. As they were traveling home through the sky in a canoe, one man invoked the name of God so their souls would be protected. This enraged the devil and he forced the canoe to the earth. None of the woodsmen were seen again. The lesson of this story is, if you ever strike a deal with the devil, follow through, or you will crash into the earth in a canoe. Bada-bing…you will never be seen again…damned.

Now, I’m not totally sure where that ties into this delicious brew. But, it is damn good. It appears a hazy dark orange, and pours with a huge tan head that dies quickly. Dies…just like the poor woodsmen in the sky canoe, dropping to the bottom and disappearing, never to be seen again. It smells bready/yeasty and almost like a sweet dessert made with a light alcohol. The taste is awesome. It’s fruity, spicy and sweet with a little warming alcohol effect. And it was really interesting for me to find the hop finish as prominent as it was. It definitely hits all parts of the tongue. I give this 5 thumbs up. It’s drinkable in the sense that you could drink a lot of it and not realize how intoxicatingly good it is until you stand up. Bravo Unibroue! Your website sucks, but your beer is amazing!

We are beer drinkers. We are gluttonous and indulgent. Sin my friends, sin!! Drink this brew and I’ll see you  in hell, deliciously happy hell.

Posted by Clubby at 10:52 pm

Investigating the Nature and Principles of Reality and Knowledge. Yum!

Brewery Ommegang, Quadruple, Reviews No Responses »
Dec 112009

Yes, I know it has been a while since I have contributed to the website. I’m sorry Greg. I have been quite busy with my MLB 07 the Show. My player, Joe Random, was sent down to AA and I was far too upset to be reviewing beers for a silly old website. There are more important things in life. There is knowledge to be learned, and reality to be lived. Poor Joe Random.

Anyway, there is a beer I would like to review. The name of this beer is Three Philosophers Belgian Style Blend by Ommegang. It is named after the famous painting by Giorgione. This painting, according to interpretation, did not show the three Magi facing Jesus’ grotto, as many in the homosexual community were hoping.  But, rather, represented the three stages of human thought. The Renaissance, the Muslim Expansion Age, and the Middle Ages.

This brew, as well, is art demonstrating different stages of delicious beer. A wonderful Quadrupel, a blend of a deliciously malty Belgian-style ale, and a classic Belgian cherry-lambic.

For the picture, I was trying to make amends for my absence. Considering there is one other person reading this, I made sure to include 2 big balls in the picture. You know you like it Greg, you grotto facer.

Poured into the biggest, yet most appropriate glass possible (see picture), with a 2-3 finger, extremely light tan head. Lacing was grand as we should expect from a brew of this caliber. The aroma was quite mouth watering. Easiest way to describe it would be, a spicy Belgian strong with a slight hint of cherry. The medium-heavy body is slightly filling (I’m fat…so it may fill others more quickly), but the slight warmth from the alcohol makes it hard to stop drinking on a chilly night such as this. It is spice, it is sweet but balanced, it is cherries and belgian grains! Yet, I hate to even mention cherries, as many beers I have had have overdone it with cherries, making it like childrens medicine. Ommegang does it to perfection. For a brew with a 9.8% ABV, it is scary how drinkable it is! It is absolutely delicious.BEER

Posted by Clubby at 1:42 am

Clubby Reviews Brooklyn Black Ops

Brooklyn Brewery, Reviews, Russian Imperial Stout No Responses »
Feb 082009

Alo my sexy friends. Tonight is a very special night. For this is the 22nd anniversary of a man morphing into a god. Witnessed by America and the entire world, one man and one man alone stood and shouted “we will not be fools, cowards or jerkies! We are America and damn it to heck, we can skate fabulously!”. Brian Boitano skated and shook his little money maker across the ice. Dressed in a tight royal blue wizard outfit he performed the amazing quad toe loop and took home gold! President Reagan released a statement addressed the world shortly after the amazing feat. Reagan stated “Brian Boitano does not represent American males”.

I’m sorry for wasting your time! I’m not funny, this beer is just making me feel loopy! Is it a beer? Is it a weak liquor? Who knows! All I know is I should invest in a snifter because this pint glass is way way way too much!

It poured dark dark dark brown. A shade or two lighter than black. Its head was about  3 fingers, dark tan and quite sneaky! It almost foamed past the top of my glass and onto my poor sticky keyboard.

As soon as I popped the cork the aroma of bourbon filled my nose. Yowzas! Bourbon overwhelmed while roasted malts were there but were almost suffocated. Bourbon is quite distinct and powerful! Immediately I feel I should have let this age!

I was hoping that maybe the flavor and mouthfeel would ease the initial shock. It didn’t. It  tastes as it smells. The bourbon hit my tongue hard as little slight hints of watery chocolate came through. I felt it was too watery for the flavors and the stingy carbonation didn’t seem to fit either.

I don’t think this drink was quite ready. It wasn’t balanced and the flavors needed to mellow out a bit. I may pick up another bottle to try in a year or so.

There are many rave reviews on other sites that I just don’t agree with. I wonder if people favor certain beers because they are limited releases. So they can tell that story of the fish that got away, the best beer that once was.

Posted by Clubby at 5:13 pm

Clubby Reviews Harpoon Winter Warmer

Harpoon Brewery, Reviews, Winter Warmer No Responses »
Dec 182008

Hello my friend, Greg.

Sorry I took a little break from the website. I was quite busy organizing my potato chips that resemble Jesus. Salty, delicious Jesus.

Just for stinks and giggles if you like metal music, and you want to be a pirate, check out this Scottish band named Alestorm. They are cheesy like a priest telling a joke, or me. But, they do make me want to fill a huge stein with some delicious grog and get some booty from the wenches at a pirates’ den. Now, wouldn’t that be wonderful.

Now, I review.

This brew pours a clear copper color with a 1 finger head that dissipates as quickly as it was poured. Cinnamon and nutmeg dominate this aroma with malts in the background. As I sip, the aroma of the spices kick me in the face. The taste was just as overwhelming as the aroma. It masks any other ingredient that is in it. Harpoon really should take the ABV and the gravity and kick it up a few notches! I hate Emeril. With this amount of spice, the mouth feel was quite watery. I really expected something heavier to actually coat and warm myself for a nice winter night. It was just like a disappointing dessert. Drinkable…yes, but satisfying…no. To enjoy something during the holidays I think I will be reaching for Affligem Noel.

Godspeed.

Posted by Clubby at 10:31 pm

Clubby Reviews Pranqster by North Coast Brewing Co.

Belgian Strong Pale Ale, North Coast Brewing Company, Reviews No Responses »
Jun 042008

Yeah, the Gilded Otter was a decent place. It was nice to eat in the middle of a brewery, though I felt their beers could use a little more flavor. Their “Three Pines India Pale Ale” could have definitely used more hop flavor and aroma. They should really switch the names of their pale ale and their IPA. Anyway, that’s Greg’s post…here’s mine!

I poured this brew into my wonderful engraved Molson glass, it poured a smaller than expected head, I was expecting more for a “Belgian Style Golden Ale”. It was cloudy and almost orange. When bringing it up to my nose I noticed sweet malts and a citrusy background. The taste was quite delicious, the malts hit my tongue with a sweetness that wasn’t overpowering as a lot of brews from the same category are. After the sweetness subsides, you can clearly taste a slight floral hop flavor that was far from out of place. On it’s venture from my taste buds to my esophageal hole cavern (medical term) I noticed a dryness, I’m guessing from candi sugar. Overall this stuff makes gangstas cry in a good way! It’s because it’s so damn drinkable yet has a 7.6 ABV. It’ll sneak up on ya and take your wallet or if you’re a baby, your candi hahaha. Definitely give this one a try it’s quite tasty.

I couldn’t take a picture so I decided to make one myself. It’s a perfect representation!

Posted by Clubby at 7:22 pm

The Campfire Makes a Pale Ale.

American Pale Ale, Recipes No Responses »
May 252008

G’day my dear chaps. Just Clubby here with a little update, to let you know we are still around and kicking and busting out beautiful brew after beautiful brew.

For our newest creation we decided to make a pale ale. The ingredients are…

7lbs. American 2-row

1lb. Vienna

2lbs. Crystal Malt 10L

1oz. Challenger (60 mins.)

1oz. Cascade (5 mins.)

1lb. Clear Candi Sugar

White Labs American Ale Yeast Blend WLP060

So we mashed at about 155 degrees for 1 hour and 20 minutes. It turned out to be a huge to-do because grains found their way into the drainage hose and clogged everything up. So we ended up with a 1.062 OG, overshot our target by 2 points. This has already been moved to secondary as we brewed this 2 weekends ago. and the FG ended up at 1.012. It will be amazing!

Posted by Clubby at 9:15 pm

Clubby Does a Review. Avery India Pale Ale.

American IPA, Avery Brewing Company, Reviews No Responses »
Apr 302008

I haven’t done much on the site lately. Though I have been here waiting for bottle caps and more ingredients for our next batch of beer which is going to be a pale ale. Aren’t you enthralled? Well good for you, here’s a review!

This brew poured a semi-clear, darker than straw, yellow/gold color with a 2.67 finger head. I keep getting sidetracked by the tiny carbonation bubbles floating to the top. It’s smells deliciously hoppy nicely piny and citrusy with malts quite evident. The taste was of course initially hoppy as it is an IPA and the sweetness from the malts came on increasingly throughout, though the hops remain the focus. Mouthfeel was interesting, I thought it would be heavier due to the sweetness in the smell, but considering that, it was light and dry with medium carbonation. This is definitely an easy drinker for those of you who like IPAs, really well balanced with the great IPA flavor. I would definitely get it again. Or let Dave get it, I will be sure to steal it again. Yummy Yummy Yummy I gots hops in my tummy!

Posted by Clubby at 7:11 pm

Clubby and Greg brew a Belgian Dark Strong Ale.

Beer Doings, Belgian Strong Dark Ale, Recipes No Responses »
Mar 272008

I’m doing this all from memory since we didn’t take notes. But, it’s all good I have a memory like a fish!! And since fish remember everything here we go!

Ingredients.

9 lbs. Belgian Pale

3 lbs. German Light Munich

2 lbs. Belgian Aromatic

2 lbs. Belgian Caravienne

2 lbs. Clear Candy Sugar

1 oz. Goldings hop pellets 60 mins.

1 oz Goldings hop pellets 10 mins.

White Labs WLP575 Belgian Style Ale Blend Yeast

Ok, so at the time, we thought we were mashing at about 150-152. But, we opened our mash tun after 1.5 hours and our thermometer read 158…So, I’m guessing we mashed at about 160. Oh well.

At the start of the boil we added the 2 lbs of clear candy sugar and 1 oz of goldings hop pellets. With 10 minutes to go we made our last hop addition of 1 oz goldings.

We got to use our nice DIY wort chiller and I was amazed at how much faster this was than sticking the pot into a bathtub of water.

Anyway, we got an OG of 1.092 while our target was 1.095 so not too bad. blah, blah blah, pitched yeast at about 80 degrees and it’s fermenting nicely in Gregs sex dungeon (his closet was cluttered with dirty magazines and asian preteens so it wouldn’t fit in there). Apparently after a few days we were close to an explosion, the top on the fermentation bucket was bulging but has since leveled off. Don’t worry Greg, your whips, chains and sex swing are safe!

Posted by Clubby at 3:20 pm
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